February 14 2013

A Valentine's letter to me ten years ago

Dear Tina

First and foremost you will survive.  There are a lot of things that will happen to you, sadness and heartbreak and major life changes that you feel have broken you. But I promise the light is just around the corner.

Baby girl will survive those horrible teenage years.  She is a good kid underneath all that and she just didn't know how to handle the heartbreak any more than you did.  It was her way of coping.  She hurt herself first so that no-one else could hurt her.  Wasn't that what you were doing too?

Baby girl with her cousin

She grows into such a wonderful adult, and is proving to you everyday that you being a 16 year old mum did not mess her up.  You did a brilliant job with her.  She is polite and kind and goes out of her way to make others feel good.  She is also a little spoiled, but then she always was.

Tina, when your life changes in the mid 2000s, it feels that there is no way out.  You feel you will never be happy again.  I promise you it will happen.

Get on the internet, the perfect guy is waiting for you.  Tina, grab him quick, and stop beating yourself up that bad things will happen to you.  He really does love you as much as he tells you he does.  He really is that much of a nice man.  He does care about baby girl.

You will get married.  Imagine that.  I know that must be a shock to you, cos it was a shock to me when I realised that was what I wanted too.  But you do it.   Its a quite small wedding (about 15 people).  It will be a great day.  But you will still miss your mum and god mother.

Our wedding day

Go to uni, it won't be the right decision for you, but do it anyway.  Those skills you learn will come in handy.

Go to concerts.  Go to lots and lots of them.  Everytime you think you can't afford it, just do it.  You are building memories.  You will make new friends.  You will enjoy it.

Me and Kat von D

Sunflowerfest 2012

Embrace changes Tina.  What feels difficult now will get easier.

And if I could offer you one piece of advice I wish I had done earlier.....join the gym now.  Its much harder for me than it would have been for you. 

Its fun....just do it.

Enjoy yourself Tina.  There are a lot of changes coming for you in the next ten years.  But they are all worth it.

Love you

Me xx